Why “New Year, New Me” Is Toxic

Have you found that every year you set yourself up to fail. Not uncommon. 2024 was a difficult for me - for a lot of people - for a variety of reasons. Where do you start? What aspect of my life do I change? Why start something I won't be able to accomplish? Thought this article was interesting and more than a little realistic in the how's and why's of the whole New Years' resolution dilemma.

While I am working on many things in 2025 on myself and my business - I think the key to all things is determination and moderation. You have to persevere but you also have to set realistic goals. Setting yourself up for failure is a self defeating way to live your life. Taking small incremental gains is much more satisfying and - let's be real - actually achievable. Making wide sweeping dramatic changes can work if you've had a health scare or change in your living situation - but otherwise smaller incremental changes can help you achieve your long term goals.

So I'm not talking about will power per se, but just the fortitude to make a decision and always be working towards it. Maybe in little ways - but always going forward. I'll see how I do this year. I have a plan. It involves 3 month goals - then on to the next 3 month goals - hopefully reaching the end goal. Baby steps. I'm hoping this approach will actually deliver the results instead of an all or nothing type approach. Trying something different this year. New mindset. Maybe this article can give you some perspective too.

I’m Over Resolutions—

Here’s Why “New Year, New Me” Is Toxic

written by Caroline Sumlin (theeverygirl.com)

Like clockwork, every December, we hear: New year, new me! It’s the rallying cry of fresh starts, big goals, and promises to make this the year—but let’s be honest, it’s also loaded with a lot of pressure to transform overnight. Whether we’re crafting vision boards, setting up fresh planners, or savoring one last glass of champagne before Dry January kicks in, many of us approach January as if it holds a kind of magic. But… does it? Why do we think that we must become a new person every year? Why do most of us experience resolution fatigue or betterment burnout, with 80 percent of resolutions failing by February? Is the “new year, new me” mentality actually doing more harm than good? These are questions I’ve been wrestling with for years—and this year, I finally decided to dig deeper for answers. Here’s what I discovered.

New Year’s Resolutions Go Way Back—Like, Way Back

Historians say the oldest New Year’s resolutions can be traced back about 4,000 years to the ancient Babylonians, who celebrated their new year around the vernal equinox when they began planting their crops for the harvest. They believed that making (and keeping) promises for the new year would bring favor from their gods, and breaking them would do the opposite. While the celebration of a new year dates back even earlier than ancient Babylonia, the Babylonians are believed to be the first to practice something resembling New Year’s resolutions, laying the foundation for the tradition we continue today.

By the 19th century, New Year’s resolutions were common practice and became more secularized and less religious, following societal trends. As media took off, resolutions became a favorite talking point, with newspapers and magazines offering advice for keeping them and jokes about those who didn’t (so it’s not just us!). The Industrial Revolution brought about the rise in self-improvement and moral superiority, and resolutions became about adhering to societal expectations, particularly those that advanced the goals of capitalism’s expansion. These themes continued to grow through the early to mid-20th century, especially during the post-World War II era and the rise of consumerism. With media, advertisement, and increasing societal pressure to maintain a certain image, the new year became a time to capitalize on that pressure with the idea that reinventing yourself is as simple as making a few purchases.

“New Year, New Me” is a Marketing Tactic

With the ’80s fitness craze (shoutout to Jane Fonda) and the ’90s self-help boom (thanks, Oprah and Tony Robbins), according to TIME, “New Year, New Me!” started as a marketing tactic, selling the idea that your best life was just a purchase away. Now that we’re in the age of social media, New Year’s has turned into a time when the pressure to “glow up” is at an all-time high. Influencers use the moment to push their followers into thinking that buying a workout plan, gut health supplement, skincare product, or some other trendy product will fix all their problems. And the pressure never stops. Self-improvement, or “glow-up culture,” is officially a 365-day commitment. Our society has become so inundated with the constant pursuit of self-improvement that many of us have forgotten what it’s like to not be improving. The New Year simply amplifies that pressure with the renewed excitement for a fresh start that the turning of a year brings.

The Desire For a Fresh Start is Innately Human

The promise of a fresh start and the chance to leave the past behind is what keeps us coming back to New Year’s resolutions, even if we didn’t keep them the previous year. When you trace our human patterns throughout history, it is clear that we have an innate need to have a designated period of shedding the past and hopeful renewal for the future. There is something mentally and spiritually cleansing about a fresh year that we long for, which is why it’s no surprise that humans have been bringing in a new year with rituals, sacrifices, and celebrations for over 4,000 years. It’s only human to seek fresh starts and set positive intentions to improve our lives. We naturally seek self-actualization, and setting resolutions is one way to meet that need.

There Are Pros and Cons to Setting Resolutions

The idea of setting intentions and visualizing your best life is positive. Please know that I am not anti-supplement, or anti-good skincare routine, or even anti-resolution. I love entering a new year with goals to help me grow, and I do feel my best when my skin is glowy. However, there’s a fine line between making a few investments in your well-being and becoming obsessed with constant self-improvement because the media has conditioned you to believe that every small (and totally normal) flaw needs to be fixed right away. Like anything, resolutions can become harmful. As this has become ingrained in our culture, it has transformed what was once a simple tradition of letting go of the old and embracing the new.

It’s easy to forget that much of what we perceive as a standard or goal to aspire to is something that society and culture likely constructed with ulterior motives. Is that greens powder really essential, or have we been sold a picture of “perfect” health we’re trying to measure up to? Do we need to add cottage cheese to every recipe to be our healthiest selves, or are we simply following a fleeting trend hoping it’ll help us finally love our bodies? Before you rush to Sephora to spend a small fortune on that new glass skin routine, ask yourself: Do you really need it, or is your trusty Cetaphil doing just fine?

We May Be Looking for Happiness in the Wrong Place

The pressure to improve isn’t limited to wellness, skincare, and productivity, even though those are often the main focus. This time of year, there is also pressure to revamp your wardrobe, refresh your home decor, start your business or side hustle, read a lot of books, among many others. Essentially, if you’re not completely rebranding your life, you’re doing it wrong. When we’re setting resolutions, we’re often asking ourselves how we can be better, more worthy, or more successful. But the real question is: Does true happiness lie in chasing an ideal version of yourself that hasn’t arrived yet, or is it found in embracing and appreciating who you are right now?

You Don’t Have to Be a “New You” to Grow

I get excited to welcome the new year with a clean slate on January 1. I live for opening the pages of my brand new planner, yet to be filled with all the coming year has in store for me. I enjoy the practice of reflecting on the previous year, letting go of what didn’t serve me, and setting gentle intentions for another year of growth and possibility. Even so, I refuse to believe I must be a “new me” every year, and I won’t follow trends that try to convince me otherwise. I’ve tried that before, and it only led to an unhealthy obsession with trying to change the person who stared back at me in the mirror, ignoring the fact that she simply needed my love instead.

As we head into the end of January and the buzz of New Year’s resolutions begins to wane, you may find yourself feeling some pressure to keep the promises you made to yourself this year. Or you may feel a second wind of determination to make this “your year.” Wherever you find yourself, know that your urge for growth is completely normal—and it’s rooted in fundamental human needs and a long-standing tradition. But you don’t have to succumb to every societal pressure to become a “new you” this year. It turns out the person you’ve always been is pretty great.